About two and a half years ago my boss called me to check in. I had left the dealership to go grab something to eat with one of our other managers. When the phone rang, I stepped out of the ordering line and walked outside so I could have some privacy. I had recently been out of town teaching for the Institute for Organization Management (IOM) in Tucson, AZ. Now that I was back, my boss wanted to wish me a Happy New Year and get caught up. We exchanged pleasantries and as the conversation was winding down, I said, “Let’s get together for lunch soon. I have something I want to talk to you about.”
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I’m leaving,” I responded. Well, that is one way to get right to the point. I went on to explain that I wanted to pursue my passion of becoming a business coach, working with leaders and organizations to create the lives and businesses that they want. I wanted to help them not only feel like their plans could be achieved, but partner with them to make them a reality. I wanted to work with more than one organization at a time. I had experienced the profound difference a coach can make in one’s life and that type of impact was my calling.
“Will you stay around until we can find your replacement?” he asked. In the automotive industry, this is an unusual request. Normally when you say you’re leaving, you lose access to everything right away and someone is in your office to grab your keys as soon as humanly possible. The fact that he asked this says everything about his character and the organization I worked for.
I stayed with the company through March and eventually did a one-month transition with my successor. Spring had sprung in New England by now and I took the next three months to golf, nap, and just get caught up on life. I had no idea how exhausted I was. In late June, my family headed down to Disney World for a week. It was there that I started to think that it was about time to truly begin the work of building my practice. The reality started to settle in as I realized that I just left a job that afforded me anything I wanted. If I stayed there, I could have retired at the age of 50. By America’s standards, I had made it. So what in the world was I doing leaving?
This is where the Coca-Cola napkin comes in. I had scribbled on an airplane cocktail napkin on my flight home from teaching at IOM in January 2023, writing “I would rather take a temporary pay cut and do work that matters to me than continue on as a car dealer. This is starting to come into focus.” I’ve shared this story before, but the aspect that I want to focus on in this particular blog is freedom.
Currently, I’m writing this newsletter from an airplane somewhere in the sky between Durango, CO and Dallas, TX. My family and I are flying back from a stunning part of western Colorado complete with mountain ranges, white water rapids, historic frontier culture, and extraordinary friends who feel like family. It’s one of the first vacations I have ever taken in my life in which I haven’t had to worry about a supervisor calling with an emergency. I don’t have to be concerned about someone trying to undercut my job while I’m away (yes, that is a real thing in the car business). I don’t have to worry about what kind of messes I will be coming back to (Thank you, Marcet!). I went with my family free to enjoy one another, the activities we chose to experience, the sights we were seeing, and the culture we were immersing ourselves in. It was also their first time being there for a sermon that I preached. (For those interested, you can listen here beginning at the 39th minute.) Freedom is one of my core values, and until I pursued it there was an incongruence in my life. I wanted to be free and yet I felt so restrained. In the past two years I’ve learned that I’m not alone as countless other leaders suffer from the same thing.
Consider one of my clients. He felt like his business owned him. He was working 80 hours per week. Now he works half that, has multiple locations, and is on track to set a revenue record. I shared about him in my last newsletter, but the story is so remarkable it bears repeating. He is living into the freedom that he came to me desiring.
One of my other clients brought a concern to a coaching call about what to do now that he has national quality leaders working alongside him. He was concerned that it was starting to feel easy, and he wasn’t sure where he fit into things. He had been so busy working in his organization and now he was experiencing the freedom of being able to work on it. He had the common misconception that things always have to be hard to be meaningful, and there is no question that perseverance is a key ingredient in success. There is also such a thing as insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing and expect a different result. He had someone covering for him that week and so one of his normal tasks didn’t need to be done. I told him to take that time block where he’d normally be working on that project, and instead, go fishing. He sent me a photo of a lake surrounded by mountains and his fishing rod in search of some fresh catch.
Or consider another client who was working on their one-page plan. We had gone back and forth on it several times in between coaching sessions. When he brought it to our next meeting, we unpacked what freedom looked like for him. Initially, he had it as being able to work as little as possible, afford what he wanted, and a few other material aspirations. After asking for his permission, I challenged his definition of freedom. I had gotten to know him for the better part of a year and I knew that this wasn’t what freedom looked like for him. Instead, at the end of the conversation, it looked like him having the flexibility to serve in areas that he was passionate about. He wanted to be able to provide for his family, be able to give to others, and help people in his company to experience freedom.
It’s very common for us to define success by Instagram posts and TikTok videos which amount to someone wishing to project the very best moments of their lives while the rest of us don’t see what is underneath the editing and makeup. The fact is that, as Teddy Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” The more we think we need to have what others have to become free—material or otherwise—the more in bondage we actually are. Freedom for leaders is living into the fullness of their own passions and gifts in the areas where they are uniquely able to make an impact. It’s not about doing something because you can, but being free to do what only you can.
I caught up with a friend recently. He was sharing with me how he had recently run into someone who knew me. They asked my friend how I was doing. He told them how I was, and they responded by saying, “He could have had a great career in the car business.” My friend, without missing a beat, said, “If he wanted it.” For me freedom was worth more than a company car, large salary, and just about anything else that would get in the way of me being able to live into the fullness of who God created me to be.