I recently received a networking newsletter that referred to January 10 as “National Quitter’s Day.” The sender brought to our attention that some organization has identified this as the day when we begin abandoning our New Year’s resolutions. Those weight loss goals, exercise routines, modified work schedules, and new priorities—along with all the thought and effort it took to create them—start fading away just 10 days into January. That’s just 2.7% of the way into the calendar year.
Why? Why do we start giving up on these things that just 10 days before we thought were critical to living a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled life? The answers are simpler than we may think.
- Lack of purpose. Simply put, these goals that we created weren’t tied to anything meaningful in our lives. It’s the difference between wanting to lose weight because you saw someone with a six-pack on Instagram and wanting to lose weight because being healthy for your family means increasing your chances of enjoying your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. That’s a subtle distinction with a significant difference.
I was recently speaking with an accomplished sales leader who feels as if he has reached a plateau. He was sharing with me how he got to an income level in which all his basic needs were met and then it seemed like his income capped out.
“What would additional money afford you at this point?” I asked.
“More freedom, contentment, and security,” he responded.
“For what purpose?” I inquired.
He paused and reflected. He wasn’t sure he had an answer to that question.
This leader was experiencing what happens when our goals lack purpose. When we lack purpose, we also lack motivation. When we lack motivation, we stagnate. When we stagnate, we stop growing and don’t achieve our goals for the simple reason that we had no idea why we wanted them from the beginning. - Lack of alignment. Are our goals congruent with our desires? It seems like such an obvious question that we glaze right over it. Read the question again, and this time pause. Is being a better—insert whatever you want—really aligned with your true desires? It’s exhausting pursuing what we think we should versus what we want and need to do. It’s hard to be honest with ourselves because we are too busy, flooded with too much information, and too concerned about what other people think. So we set goals that don’t align with who we are, what our skills are, and in areas where we can really win. A goal well-conceived is a goal half-achieved.
I see this often when working with leadership teams. Because there isn’t clear direction, there isn’t alignment. And without alignment, every person is doing what is right in their own eyes. This means that there are a bunch of individual efforts, not pointed in the same direction, which significantly diminishes their chances of achieving their desired outcomes. A great example of this is in construction. A construction owner who is looking to maximize their profits needs goals for their laborers which align to that end. When you think about construction, two main levers align with the goal of profitability: productivity—getting the job done in less hours than were estimated—and quality—getting the job right the first time. By spending less hours than were estimated and minimizing errors, an owner can create predictable profits in his or her business. - Lack of systems. The best explanation for creating systems for goal achievement that I have read is James Clear’s Atomic Habits. It brilliantly distills complex goals into small, actionable, and ordered steps. Without a system like this, we often become overwhelmed with the vastness of the goal and it causes us to give up because it seems too big.
A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to lose some weight. I quickly became overwhelmed by figuring out what nutrition plan I needed to use and which forms of exercise would help me (cardio v. strength, interval v. endurance, etc.). We ended up hiring a trainer to help us sort through that. As he created a system for us, we began to get results. If I didn’t have him guiding us, we would have given up, which leads me to the final reason that “National Quitter’s Day” has a name. - Lack of support and accountability. Too often we try to go alone. Some of us are afraid of being vulnerable and asking for help, lest others think that we lack discipline, knowledge, or experience. Some of us think we are experts in areas which we aren’t, and so we struggle through. Some of us aren’t honest with ourselves about where things really are, and we carry on with our delusion. Whatever the reason, goals are best achieved with support—people who are simultaneously 100% in your corner and willing to hold us accountable.
A few weeks ago, I was in a coaching session with a client and we were talking about what he wanted in 2025. He has been running at a torrid pace and for each of the past several years he has had intense periods of exceptional results followed by six weeks of burnout, characterized by sickness, increased anxiety, irritability, and mediocre results. I challenged him on that, as we created his “Start, Stop, and Continue” list. A lightbulb went off in his head and he said to me, “Hold me accountable to this. I want to live differently,” as he acknowledged that what he was doing on his own wasn’t working.
So what can be done so there can be a celebration on December 31 of “National Achiever’s Day”? These recommendations hold true for both individuals and organizations.
- Ask yourself what your greatest passion is, what your greatest skills are, and how you can bring value to the world through them.
- Set your goals in accordance with that clear purpose.
- Create a system that works for you. I referenced James Clear above; Michael Hyatt’s Full Focus is another great system. These are great tools, and you can feel free to experiment with them to find what works best for you. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
- Share your goals with people who will support, challenge, and love you through accountability.
If you want help, you’re welcome to respond to this email or schedule a call to talk it through further.